Calm

The calm after the storm. I can think about Heidi and not break down. I called in to work and told them I was taking a day off. Time to sleep, and recuperate. I feel like I'm jump-starting my emotional machinery. I woke up silent and flat. Then at breakfast there was a flash of irritation, and that felt really, really good. The food was good, and I was hungry. Warm fire. Now, I'm sleepy. New chapter.

The tarot readings pointed to sorrow, over and over and over. 5 of Cups and 5 of Swords. So now, I have tasted the 5 of Cups. The 5 of Swords hasn't come to pass as yet. I will wait, and be careful and cautious and wise. Gentle. Considering the intensity of the 5 of Cups, I think the 5 of Swords will be a serious challenge. I do not wish to hurt Heidi. Actually, I do, sortof. "She wants to turn me away, well!" Not a good thing. I need to calm and meditate and be careful.