Aftermath

On a whim, I put Dido's Life for Rent on this afternoon. The first song is "White Flag,"

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

As the hours pass into days, and life slides by, I find I still miss you. I took my emotions, opened them all up, cried my heart out, and released them with my mother's help. Afterwards, I am calm. But yet I miss you. A hole in my life is not filled just because I released the emotions. Only the pain has gone.

Is it dulled? I am learning to be happy again, in little magical moments of sunlight and smiles. I am not dulled, just rediscovering my world. I feel like I am recovering from a long illness. I watch the sunset with happy wonder, turn and falter for a moment, and drive home in the silence of the dusk.

I am beautiful.