Another Day (3)

Apparently, Heidi went to the Paris Dance Academy for the start of this month's intermediate dance lessons. She said she might, and I figured she would. Apparently she even asked J to come, but oh well. I feel mean to just drop her, especially considering that I broke the rules. I knew when I started that she wasn't going to go any further than "just friends." But what the hell could I do? The only solution is to find someone who interests me more than Heidi, and to do that, I need to break away. Otherwise, I don't even see other women.

Carrying on as "Just Friends" was the single most painful thing I have ever tried to do. That does not work for me. If she wants a dance partner, or a friend to hang out with, or whatever, she can either find someone else, or stop shutting me out. Life is too short for me to spend time on a dead end. Friends are good, but not the kind where I give and don't receive. That just isn't fair. That statement isn't fair either, but I gave my heart, and I certainly didn't receive. Duh, I shouldn't have given my heart. Hindsight is always 20/20. Maybe it was just time to move on.

So anyway, I arranged to take private swing lessons at the Paris Dance Academy on Thursday evenings. Expensive, let me tell you. I hope it's worth it. I wish I had a partner, because then it'd be proportionately less expensive (the fee is time-based).

Holy crap I miss her.